It's no surprise that areas in the U.S. with limited sex education are plagued with teen pregnancy and STIs.
It's important to stay educated as adults, and to keep up with new developments so we can contribute to an intelligent and public conversation about sex. Conversations like this can change our culture and influence the way the next generation is raised to think about sex. Our culture can change, and influence our legal system. Communities are worried that the government is interfering in their lives and policing our children's education, yet these communities are policing and shaming women in far more damaging ways than they understand.
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| Source: Office of Adolescent Health |
There is no shortage of misinformation out there, just look at something like yahoo answers, or these horror stories. It's painfully obvious that people aren't getting facts from educated professionals, and these educational failures can lead to some pretty funny buzzfeed articles and yahoo threads. But these are the extremes, right?
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| Scary, huh? |
Um, wrong.
Of course, uneducated youths who engage in sexual activity (because they're going to engage, educated or not) are at risk for unwanted pregnancy and infection. These children are being deprived of a necessary and useful education, but they are also being given a heavily gendered sense of responsibility and shame.
Many girls are taught by parents and teachers that the male libido is uncontrollable, that boys only want one thing, that sexual responsibility is theirs and theirs alone, and that their value is tied to their virginity.
Some of this culture is perpetuated by the way society values fatherhood.
"For the most part, though, paternity leave, where available, is more modest—in Greece, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, South Korea, Austria and Hungary paternity leave is guaranteed for one week or less." -PewResearchCenter.
Because of the devaluation the role of fatherhood, boys don't see how pregnancy relates to them in any real way. Therefore, the responsibility of contraception falls on the girl. This sentiment is reiterated by parents, teachers, and doctors alike, and it's terrifying.
These ideas promote a dangerous culture of male entitlement and expected irresponsibility that leads to, among other things, rape and assault. Burdening women with the lion's share (if not all) of the sexual responsibility in relationships (one-night, long-term, or otherwise) creates a culture of women that are too busy worrying about sex and all its baggage to enjoy it. It doesn't help that we live in a culture where female pleasure is rarely portrayed and often misunderstood. There isn't even a substantial amount of scientific and medical information about the female orgasm. Here is an article about female ejaculation which basically concludes with "we really aren't all that sure what it is."
And yet, we know exactly how many miles per hour sperm travels on average.
So, what are we supposed to do with this unbalanced scale of medical information? Why is there such a gap in the information we give our children, and in the subjects deemed important enough to investigate by the scientific community?
Between the religious communities and uncomfortable parents crying out against sex education, it seems as though the shame associated with sex is standing in the way of real information distribution. Maybe our parents have wronged us by treating sex uncomfortably, but so were they wronged by their parents, and so on. When we learn that sex is shameful, we don't ask our parents or our teachers about it. We don't talk about good sex with our friends, and our friends don't talk to us. Most importantly, we don't share all the details with our doctors, and can become sick, hurt, or worse as the result.
So, it seems that the normalcy of sex - specifically pleasurable female sexuality - could do us all a world of good. Unfortunately, it won't just happen with the coming generation - we have to make sex normal, and have the conversations we've been taught to shame.
Fortunately, we have the tools to do just that.
I believe that social media is changing the world. Demands on social media reach legislators and political figures as a sort of instant poll. Social media outlets, when considered by politicians, can be a direct bridge between policy and the public. It's not a perfect system, but it is a voice. Making sex normal is so important, and, with the help of social media, we can do that.
Part of the problem here is that it seems so obvious to those of us with the information. We make fun of silly questions and we gasp when a grown man doesn't understand how menstruation works. We forget that we are the lucky few, and that, in fact, there are large gaps in our education as well.
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| Even if they feel like their sex education is complete |
The Alienable Rights of Women - - Roxane Gay
And a few people out there who are doing good and calling out absurdities, despite the current legal situation:
And a few people out there who are doing good and calling out absurdities, despite the current legal situation:
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