"She surveys everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life." (Berger, 46) This excerpt from John Berger's Ways of Seeing has brought forth so many factors in my own life that I have never thought about before as I'm sure it did for many other readers. I had never thought that my own standards for myself had been manipulated by male expectations. It makes me wonder where the line draws between male expectations and my own expectations for myself.
In media, we have seen so many times where the woman is objectified and hyper sexualized, to a particular male standard. Music, movies, TV-series, magazines, and so many more media outlets emphasize female aesthetics. Almost all magazine stories cover a feature about a woman, focused on her looks, her ability to keep a 'sexy-body' and her sharing her tips on how you can do so also. “Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at” (47).
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| Kim Kardashian on the cover of Cosmopolitan |
Sure, we have seen recent strides in effort to promote feminism, but even so, it can be confusing to differentiate what is empowering and what is trying to conform in believing that whatever the male standard is, is "beautiful." Beyonce considers herself as a feminist, but many argue that her standards of feminism is not at all what they want to be represented as. The way she presents herself is just the way a man would consider a woman "sexy." So it is hard to say whether she believes that she is sexy for the sake of being sexy, or being the "sexy" in the man's eyes. A woman desired so heavily by men, can only resort to looking and acting a certain way, to keep her male fans (gaze) happy and entertained, also to stay desired by them.
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| Beyonce during On The Run Tour |
The Judgement of Paris, which is now a real beauty contest in Paris, is a contest where a man would award an apple to the most beautiful woman. Those who are not judged beautiful were considered 'not beautiful'. (Berger, 52) This created a sense of women being objectified and seen as something of a prize. It spurred a feeling of being wanted and competitiveness towards one another to be the most desired by men. This corrupt goal of women, created by men, influences women to strive to be something of a sight, and nothing more. "Men look at women and women watch themselves be looked at. This determines the relationship not only between man and woman but woman and herself. The surveyor inside the woman is male, and she turns herself into an object, and most particularly an object of vision: “a sight.” (Hooks, 46)
However, not all blame is to be put on men, for they are born into a society that lives and breathes patriarchy, even till this day, no matter how much some would like to deny so. "Patriarchal rules still govern most of the world's religious, school systems, and family systems." (Hooks 23) But we can stop this from continuing, by starting at the initial points in our boys' lives.
In Understanding Patriarchy by Bell Hooks, she shares a story of when she was a little girl. She was told that she was not allowed to play with her brother in a game of marbles because that was only a game for boys by her father. She disobeyed her father and was firmly punished with a beating, surprising both Hooks and her brother. (Hooks, 20-21) This kind of punishment engraves in both Hooks and her brother's mind that there is a strong difference in what is acceptable of boys and girls, dividing the world in a half, not to be confused of which side they belong to. This kind of forceful division prevents the male from being able to express his feelings, and promotes an expectation of an unhealthy amount of masculinity from males. "Patriarchy promotes insanity. It is the root of the psychological ills troubling our men in our nation." (Hooks, 30)
Understanding all aspects of the harmful yet misunderstood male gaze, more efforts in ditching the old ways of patriarchy, can do to better for the future. We need to take action in enforcing the empowering not just women, but also men who are forced to think and act a certain way from the moment they are born.
What Guys Look Look For in Girls - Savannah Brown
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